It's around that time of year when I get extremely depressed.
The depression typically builds to a 3-day intense shitty feeling.
I liken it to how a person would feel after watching a Michael Bay marathon.
Every thought is negative and/or suicidal.
I notice things, things I would normally ignore.
People with circles of friends, having barbeques in their backyard, talking excitedly to each other about bullshit.
Actually feeling excitement over nothing, just hanging out with people, being excited.
Excitement.
I don't even comprehend excitement.
I understand a dead giraffe floating in the pacific ocean more.
People with populated phone books.
What the fuck is that about.
All that talking.
With other people.
I don't get it.
The more I talk with human beings the stronger I recognize I'm alone.
There are no mutual thoughts to share.
People who watch television shows.
Television shows.
Movies.
All kinds of horse shit.
Goals.
Accomplishments.
Celebrations.
Job promotions.
Family relations.
Pursuing sex partners.
Weddings.
Funerals.
Quiches.
A world of illusions I can't sympathize with.
Death is the only thing I understand and I don't understand it all.
But I'm trying to not be negative this year.
Which is something I try to do every year.
(lol)
Keep thinking about this quote from Anderson "The Spider" Silva:
"No one will hit you harder than life itself. It doesn't matter how you hit back. It's about how much you can take, and keep fighting... how much you can suffer and keep moving forward. That's how you win."
Also keep thinking about a nude Roseanne Barr standing in a lit hallway holding an open pizza box with my disappointed face surrounded by cheesy crust where the pizza is supposed to be.
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