Thursday, March 7, 2013
Tuesday, March 5, 2013
EFFEMINATE MEN ARE THE POLIO OF THE 21ST CENTURY
Out of all the flavors of bitch made men I think the most amusing/annoying is the squish footed, lisping texan.
The long years of titty coddling by southern women is palpable in every movement he makes.
Like a whine ballet.
Such grace.
(hushed announcer voice): Watch the frail manboy in line at starbucks as he passive-aggressively complains with a feminine drawl about the lack of cake pop availability.
This fall on NBC.
The long years of titty coddling by southern women is palpable in every movement he makes.
Like a whine ballet.
Such grace.
(hushed announcer voice): Watch the frail manboy in line at starbucks as he passive-aggressively complains with a feminine drawl about the lack of cake pop availability.
This fall on NBC.
CHRISTIAN SLATER AS LUCKY LUCIANO
The glow-in-the-dark store at the mall provided the best opportunity to grope underaged girls.
Feel me?
Feel me?
Monday, March 4, 2013
SOMETIMES I PRETEND I'M A MUTANT BIKER FROM THE MOVIE "WEIRD SCIENCE"
Feel like my life is a game show called "Just Can't Win" and the objective is to see how long I can exist while failing.
I don't mean failing in an emo way, but in a physical way.
Went to Beverly Hills to see a doctor last week.
Left completely crushed and hopeless.
Would feel slightly better about Cedars Sinai as an organization if every doctor in the hospital formed a line and spit on me.
Maybe have everyone eat cheese and oreos before hand too.
I received lab results today for some blood work my friend paid for, which are perplexing.
Now I feel slightly more hopeless.
Think I entered a bonus round or something.
And the audience is hushed, waiting to see if I finally lose or keep winning at not winning.
Can he do it?--I don't know.
Sometimes the only possible offense and/or defense is to remain defiant.
Even if that means flashing a broken smile at the sky while an unknown assailant chokes you into oblivion.
On a different subject:
I saw a small portion of panties around lunchtime when a woman bent over to enter a car and it made me feel slightly better about the world.
They were pink.
I don't mean failing in an emo way, but in a physical way.
Went to Beverly Hills to see a doctor last week.
Left completely crushed and hopeless.
Would feel slightly better about Cedars Sinai as an organization if every doctor in the hospital formed a line and spit on me.
Maybe have everyone eat cheese and oreos before hand too.
I received lab results today for some blood work my friend paid for, which are perplexing.
Now I feel slightly more hopeless.
Think I entered a bonus round or something.
And the audience is hushed, waiting to see if I finally lose or keep winning at not winning.
Can he do it?--I don't know.
Sometimes the only possible offense and/or defense is to remain defiant.
Even if that means flashing a broken smile at the sky while an unknown assailant chokes you into oblivion.
On a different subject:
I saw a small portion of panties around lunchtime when a woman bent over to enter a car and it made me feel slightly better about the world.
They were pink.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
STEVEN SPIELBERG IS THE SENTIMENTAL MICHAEL BAY
I'll know I've made it as a poet when I'm doing readings in the black light poster section of a Spencer's Gifts.
Friday, March 1, 2013
I WANT YOU TO READ THAT POEM WHERE YOU REMOVE YOUR TSHIRT THEN BARF ALL OVER YOUR NAKED TITS
Any person who vocalizes an accomplishment hasn't accomplished anything.
In other words, people who say they own a famous Hollywood bar never do.
In other words, people who say they own a famous Hollywood bar never do.
I'VE ONLY THOUGHT ABOUT DEATH 37 TIMES TODAY
You know those occasions when you're somewhere public, maybe at a bus stop or a restaurant, lost in half a daydream, and suddenly your eyes fix on a juicy ass in motion.
And for a moment your mind is only focused on the thing; the way the protruding cheeks jiggle, the firmness of the bubble, its suffering against captive fabric.
And while in that moment your brain subconsciously replays stop-motion films of destructive waterfalls or blinding sunrises from eighth grade science class.
And as the ass moves farther away you notice something isn't complete, there's a slightly foreign feel.
Which is when you realize the ass is attached to a swinging dick.
What's up with that?
Not, like, what's up with being attracted to the same gender.
More, like, what's up with men who have great asses.
Just seems bullshit.
A normal guy can't compete with that noise.
It's bad enough some dudes have massive shlongs.
Asses, too?
Fuck...
Really grateful for the invention of money.
And for a moment your mind is only focused on the thing; the way the protruding cheeks jiggle, the firmness of the bubble, its suffering against captive fabric.
And while in that moment your brain subconsciously replays stop-motion films of destructive waterfalls or blinding sunrises from eighth grade science class.
And as the ass moves farther away you notice something isn't complete, there's a slightly foreign feel.
Which is when you realize the ass is attached to a swinging dick.
What's up with that?
Not, like, what's up with being attracted to the same gender.
More, like, what's up with men who have great asses.
Just seems bullshit.
A normal guy can't compete with that noise.
It's bad enough some dudes have massive shlongs.
Asses, too?
Fuck...
Really grateful for the invention of money.
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