SENDING UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS TO YOUR OWN MOTHER SEEMS LIKE THE MOST ENJOYABLE WAY TO HARASS HER

There are moths in my closet.

Giant cocksucker motherfuckers.

Snacking on my shirts.

Like it's cool.

At first I felt sort of sad about it.

But I've accepted the destruction.

Embraced the holes or whatever.

And now it's a game to see what falls completely apart first:

the clothes or me.

UNAPPRECIATED VAGINAS ARE THE NEW SUNDAY MORNING

What's up with the older women who wear back braces as fashion accessories.

Do they really not know a cumber bun with suspenders worn over their clothing is ridiculous.

The ladies are always cigarette smokers, too.

As if there's a FAQ on the internet somewhere describing how to give up on life once a woman reaches her forties.

Or a website offering a starter set.

Feel like the set would include: marlboro lights (soft pack); black back brace; acid-wash high-water jeans with elastic waist band; over-sized dark sunglasses; white blouse; 10-year-old pumps from payless.

I leave you with this:

MY MOM AND YOUR MOM SHOULD GET TOGETHER AND GO BOWLING

Sam Pink wrote a blog post where he linked me and some other people

I was the only person without any sort of viable accomplishment.

Which I consider an accomplishment.

But if you want to read something I wrote there's this or this.

Here's the only interview I've ever done.

I'm also a collector of women's used underwear.

So, please send me your panties.

Or any panties.

Just want them worn.

Thanks.

I WANT TO PUNCH YOUR FACE WITH MY FACE UNTIL ONE OF US PLEADS FOR MERCY

Been trying to decide if one thing has a more fucked connotation than the other:

A person who is subjected to an intense, quick violence at a young age, then becomes enslaved by a cyclical lifestyle.

Or, a person who's entire life is a protracted agony which crescendos to death.

I suppose it doesn't matter.

In other news, I hear Modern Family is coming back for another season.

THE MOST COMICAL/TRAGIC CREATURE IN EXISTENCE CAN BE FOUND SITTING IN A WHOLE FOODS DINING AREA GETTING LESSONS FROM A LIFE COACH

Women who wear high heels inappropriately are an american epidemic.  Figure your shit out, ladies.

From the heart.

FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE DOING FUCKING WHITE PEOPLE STUFF

Me: You should approach your teacher tomorrow and say, "show me them titties."

Baby J: ...

Me: What?

Baby J: I... I'm afraid she'll show them.

Me: Hahaha.

Baby J: My math teach is alright...

Me: Ohh, yeahhh?

Baby J: Yeah.  I mean, she's like a four.

Me:  Dude, it's all pink inside.  Everything else is ego.

STUFF MY CORPSE WITH SOILED PANTIES

GOOD TAMPON PORN IS LIKE WATCHING A NAKED BULIMIC GIRL CHUG A CRISCO LATTE

Tell any genuine lies lately?

THE ONLY PEOPLE I WANT TO TALK WITH ARE THE PEOPLE WHO DON'T WANT TO TALK TO ANYONE

The last time I went to the emergency room the hospital placed me in the poor/uninsured section.

 It was a large area away from the rest of the ER.

And reminded me of a teacher's lounge for the unwanted.

Other people were there with me.
 
A sheet hanging from a metal rod was used to partition us.

Each time a doctor walked in earshot a loud weeping filled the room.

It was such a pathetic sob.

Like the noise an 11-year old girl being raped by her daddy makes.

It came from behind the fabric, to the right of me.

I think the purpose of the crying was to pander for opiates.

Outside the room a drunk barked orders from a gurney in the hallway.

He wanted to be fed a sandwich and juice.

The demand wasn't malicious.

It had the tone of a business man on a mini-vacation.

EFFEMINATE MEN WHO WHINE TO EFFEMINATE MEN ABOUT THE TRIVIAL ACTIONS OF WOMEN

Whether people be of high or low birth, rich or poor, old or young, enlightened or
confused, they are all alike in that they will one day die. It is not that we don’t
know that we are going to die, but we grasp at straws. While knowing that we will
die someday, we think that all the others will die before us and that we will be the
last to go. Death seems a long way off.

I WANT TO SEXUALLY TORTURE YOU LIKE THE WAY A MOTHER NEGLECTS HER ONLY CHILD

Feel like using the phrase "you'll get over it" in response to every whine/complaint I hear/read.

FUCK DREAM

Love, from different angles:

TAKE ME HOME DADDY

PEG ENTWISTLE

"I am afraid I am a coward. I am sorry for everything. If I had done this a long time ago, it would have saved a lot of pain."

DESTROY SOULS AND SHIT KISSES

Look at the hips on this reaper.





I'm in love.

PUT A VAGINA IN BLACK FACE THEN CALL IT NANCY REAGAN

Sam Pink has a new novel out called RONTEL.  It's really good.  You can buy the physical book from Lazy Fascist or the ebook from some assholes in New York.  I suggest you buy the tangible version because the cover art is half the fun.

If I was asked to blurb the book--which i wasn't because I hold no significance in the reading or publishing community--my blurb would be "Rontel is like sucking your own dick while mother cheers you on."

Sam Pink recently released a book of short stories to his blog (Gerald McClellan vs Nigel Benn).  Rumor is LF feels confusion about the internet release and wonders if Sam still likes them. 

I don't know.

What I do know is some dude decided to make a print version of the book.  But I don't know what his name is or where he lives or what he's about.  But I do know an unpublished interview I did with Sam will be in the printed book.  Like, dvd bonus feature type of shit.

Here are some questions from the interview:

I heard a rumor that Greg Sherl enjoys beating women for pleasure. Which made me wonder what type of kink Sam Pink is in to.  Are you a bread and butter kind of guy in the bedroom or what.

Please provide your dick measurements.

The writing community is a society of little punks with perfect teeth.  It's mind blowing.  Who do you think is the biggest bitch of them all?  My choice is Steve Roggenbuck.  Like, can anyone get any fucking lamer than that dude.  For real.

If you could be the angel of death for one relative, who would it be.

Have you had any additional homosexual experiences since the first.

Just kidding.  Only two of those questions are in the interview.

You can pre-order Gerald here.

A HITLER GHOST STORY IN THE TIME OF LARGE MOUTH BASS

The comments at the bottom of any copy of that Black Rambo Manifesto are really good.

Good as in people are dumb and worthless, which makes for a comical read.

On another note, ever meet a person who resembles a cockroach?  Not like physically, but spiritually.

The type of person who crumb snatches every chance.

Or is hated by everyone, even their 'life partner', yet hangs around.

Just remains, like a disgusting bug covered in grease and filth, never in the light.

Those roach people are extremely frustrating/humorous too.

Also, men who wear matching colored beanie/hoodie combos are in the same bucket--I think.

"What the fuck."

ORAL MUSIC

Apparently, there's an ex-police officer/ex-military dude named Chris running around my beloved city shooting at LAPD personnel.

I feel really good about this.

A bully with no fear in the heart is the worst type.

More people should shoot cops in their stupid faces, I think.

The screws are swarming the city, frantically looking for their hunter.

The media has warned any innocent person owning a car similar to the one driven by the pig killer to be safe and stay home.

Avoid accidental death.

In other words, the LAPD has made it very clear that they're on a shoot first basis with any person matching Chris's description.

Seems legit.

A manifesto was posted.

In it a value system created ranking which officers are top priority.

The thing makes a lot of sense to me.  I mean, if you ignore the typos and super loon shit.
  
Here are some quotes:

An enemy who embraces death is a lose, lose situation for their enemy combatants.

I am the walking exigent circumstance you created.

Let the balance of loss of life take place.

Sometimes humans feel a need to prove they are the dominant race of a species and they inadvertently take kindness for weakness from another individual. You chose wrong.

You are a high value target.

To those children of the officers who are eradicated, your parent was not the individual you thought they were. As you get older,you will see the evidence that your parent was a tyrant who loss their ethos and instead followed the path of moral corruptness. They conspired to hide and suppress the truth of misconduct on others behalf’s. Your parent will have a name and plaque on the fallen officers memorial in D.C. But, In all honesty, your parents name will be a reminder to other officers to maintain the oath they swore and to stay along the shoreline that has guided them from childhood to that of a local, state, or federal law enforcement officer.

You will now live the life of the prey.

I have the strength and benefits of being unpredictable, unconventional, and unforgiving. Do not waste your time with briefs and tabletops.

You can read the whole document here.

EXPRESSING AN ANAL GLAND->EXTRA VACATION

Email me your address if you'd like a fucking stupid valentine card in the mail.

APPLES AND HANDJOBS

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SNOUT HICCUP

People who feel anger/elation over a sports team's performance...

PSYCHEDELIC BACON PEDIGREE

Realized probably no one knows the Corky/Life Goes On reference I made in my TV Snorted My Brain review.

So here, enjoy:

                      (I'm not going to take anyone's sandwich.)

THE GANG BANG DREAMS THE NEON OF ZERO-DAY BLACK FACE

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