A PUSSY FART NAMED GOD WAFTING DOWN THE HOLLYWOOD BOULEVARD OF A CHILD'S FEVER DREAM

Today I passed a homeless woman walking a cat on a leash.  The cat looked at me, and I looked at the cat, then we came to the mutual realization that it would be dead within 48 hours.

BOLOGNA EQUATOR

An amazing homeopathic remedy for snoring is to fill your pockets with lead fishing weights then sleep in the bathtub while the water runs.

THUG LICE

When you feel so hopeless that you can't discern if watermelon seeds are cockroaches but it doesn't matter because you're grateful to have a companion.

KENNY, JR.

ROBOT GURGLE

David Lynch should rename Eraserhead to CSPAN because it has to be the most boring movie ever made.

GANG BANG HARMONY

We live in a pathetic reality when a person is lauded as a "good human" for feeding a starving cat found living in an apartment building crawlspace.

BONER MISGIVINGS

Aren't you lonely enough to welcome even me?

HOOKER FART

The soundtrack to my life in Hollywood is a loop of amernian screams, construction work, police sirens and helicopters.