MARKIE POST'S PIZZA FUPPER

If anyone would like to smoke weed and watch episodes of The Fall Guy with me, then you're fucking invited to my apartment.  Come on over.

AFFECTION DONGLE

(proof roggenbuck's 'poetry' is about as interesting/unique/complex as graffiti from a stoned 14-year-old skater.)

NEGATIVE PERPETUAL HABITS

How to fix everything:

PARK SAUSAGE

I keep having these moments where I witness a person saying something very limited, like an epiphany an intelligent toddler would have, but the person is two to three decades older and what they're saying is perplexing, like, holy shit, dude, are you unaware of climate change outside the embrace of mother's snatch, and then I feel an agitation in my gut, sort of like a ship sinking in an ocean of horse shit while the captain is staring at his hands waiting for eventual death, and I try to shake the feeling away by attributing it to my immense negativity, which I almost do, but then several other people speak up and tell the intelligent toddler person vague affirmations, like, "wow, great perspective" or "real talk" or "I never thought of it like that before" and then I imagine a horizontal guillotine destroying the soft necks of almost every fucking person alive in america, especially the young.

NOTHING EXTERNAL FEELS FAMILIAR

I feel like illegally hopping a train towards no definite destination, just some place beautiful, maybe wyoming or montana or spokane, and while the train is making its way over a high bridge, look towards the river below, then jump from the boxcar, not a dive or a belly flop, just a leap to a free fall, and when my body makes contact with the cold liquid, all the physical pain and emotional distress i've endured dissipates in a 5-second death orgasm.

Then a chill turtle named pierre uses my skull for a condo.

FAKE TITS ON A FAT CHICK

I finally found something creepier than horses:

BIG HAIRY MOM PUSSY

White men earning 6 figure salaries really enjoy spending their leisure time by aimlessly walking in public with hands stuffed in their cargo short pockets.

SHANGHAI CUNNILINGUS

God Bless America.