I'M BETTER THAN YOU BECAUSE I LIVE ON A HILLTOP AND DRIVE A SPORTS CAR WITH HALOGEN LAMPS.

I was asked to write an introduction to a book of poetry.  I'm excited, except I don't think I've ever actually read a book intro before.

I have tried.

The introductions I've attempted are always boring or interpret the work before I've read the work.  I don't understand the need to ruin the orgasm--people love to step on dicks.

And they usually read like a preview to a michael bay movie, sans explosions, as narrated by a narcoleptic wilford brimley.

Has anyone, ever, read those first 3 pages and thought, "GOD DAMN, I MUST BUY THIS SHITTY BOOK OF WORDS RIGHT NOW!"

The magic 8-ball says no.

So, yeah, I have no fucking idea how to write an introduction.  Or even the root point of one.

Think I'll write a bunch of reasons why a person shouldn't read the book.

And maybe a casual mention of burritos.  Maybe.

Fuck sales.

Cocaine.