JESUS WOULD BE COOL IF HE HAD GIANT TITS

"Factory workers were the future of mankind--as if slavery could bring anything else than more slavery."  --Jean Baudrillard

Johnny B's right.  The world is a shit place.  What we need now is god damned Beano.

THE GROWING SUNSET OF BURNING LADY FINGERS

Has anybody watched any movies from director Toshiaki Toyoda?  His films are fucking beautiful.

I cried after peeping Blue Spring for the first time.  I mean, I did watch it after a Halloween rave and was pumped full of ecstasy.  But the ecstasy wasn't even that good.

I've re-watched his movies a lot.  Nobody ever seems to know who the fuck he is though.  Not even the people I talk to from Japan have heard of him.

Seems both awesome and tragic.  Like walking in on your mother having a squirt session with some guy you've never seen before.

Also, what's a good online poem, like a recent one.  I can't seem to read anything I give a shit about.

WHITE PEOPLE LOVE JIGSAW PUZZLES

BLOOD RELATIONS

Tonight is the night before the day of contrived importance.  It is mired in nostalgia and consumerism. 

Right now, at this very fucking moment, people are sitting in a fire lit room surrounded by relatives they don't like and hardly know all for the sake of a religious holiday nobody actually gives a shit about.

But hey, presents.

The gift I gave myself was hearing a girl half my age moan while I sucked on her clitoris.

After that I took my dog, Little Dave, out for a walk.

During the walk we found a blanket and pillow laid out on the ground in front of a dentist office.

A schizophrenic man in a beige trench coat appeared on a bicycle.  He rode in a circuitous pattern while smoking a cigarette.  I think he was talking to himself.

In the distance a deep and low pop sounded.  Then another.  And another...

By the third I realized a gun was being fired.  The shots were rhythmic at first, then hurried.

Pop... pop... pop... pop... pop... pop... pop-pop-pop.

Feel certain the noise came from Hollywood and Western.  Suddenly sirens could be heard in every direction.  Seven in total, I think.

Needless to say Litle Dave and I made our way the fuck home.

A police helicopter is buzzing above my apartment like a horny mosquito now.

Merry Methmas.

//////////////////////SLEEPING DREAM

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EAT YOUR OWN PUSSY BUFFET

Men seeking women - platonic.

My girlfriend is half my age and refuses to dress in hideously attractive clothing from the seventies.  I'm a very visual person and enjoy aesthetics, especially those of the feminine variety.

Looking for a girl to be my polyester model.  Very flexible with age and race; I enjoy all species of sugarbirds.  Must be willing to be an empty vessel for hours and endure scrutiny without falter.  In other words, plan on being dressed and undressed several times until the perfect combination of period clothing and human doll are matched.

I must be pleased.

Not looking for conversation.  Prefer a girl with soulful but vacant eyes.  No makeup unless I explicitly specify.

To reiterate, this is a platonic relationship; a kissing cousin of master/slave but without the sex.  In times of compliments no response is to be provided.  You exist to take direction.

Doesn't necessarily matter if you enjoy synthetic fabrics, burnt orange tones, bell bottoms and corduroy. No opinion is the optimal goal.

I desire only a perfect mannequin.

Email me if interested.  Please put the words 'I AM YOURS' in the subject line so I know you're not a bot.  All responses without a picture will be ignored.  Thanks!

jdean33442@gmail.com

WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO CHEST HAIR

Been relatively not shitty this year.  Hoping a very kind, very fictitious man breaks in to my apartment and rewards me with this:

IN AN ALTERNATE REALITY JESUS CHRIST LOOKS LIKE DOM DELOUISE WITH A PUSSY

Stymie doesn't steal no pie.

OBESOGEN

Fuck, man.  Woke up today with extreme levels of stress.

So much panic.

I always get like this during midterms.

School is so hard!  Feel like puking and giving up or giving up then puking.

Really worried about my psych test.

Fucking worried.

Like shit my pants worried.

What if I don't pass?  The outcome will be devastating.

I mean, yeah, I'll still owe the same amount of money regardless.

OMG!  Don't get me started on student loans!

Thinking about owing such a large amount of make believe money with no tangible consequence for not paying it is too much for my head to comprehend.

Ugh!

Tired of the nightmares.  Just want school to be over.

Please.

I don't want to puke and/or shit myself.

Please?